Jesus.
I'm really sorry for not following up on this and not uploading this.
Thank you for all the people who emailed me for this. Sorry kung sabog. Gosh.
Thank you.
Jesus.
I'm really sorry for not following up on this and not uploading this.
Thank you for all the people who emailed me for this. Sorry kung sabog. Gosh.
Thank you.
Okay.
On my previous blog, I said that I am really excited to write this but I basically have no idea about the timeline of the events or where to start. I'm not even sure why I am writing this in here but I really have to spill this pent up energy from my creative juices (I wish!).
Anyway, I am imagining to start the novel with the ending; a torn up Kingdom of Adustio looking for its savior. I don't think I would like to write a happy ending, not because I'm a killjoy or anything (or I'm French with their love for tragedy), but life as I know it doesn't really ends or concludes like that. I want it to be more raw, touching and appealing to the desire, knowledge and longing of the human heart. I know, I know, I am really trying to be deep in here but I want it to be a kind of novel that Ken Follett would write (lol). Seriously, the first two books of the The Pillars of the Earth series (that's book one and World Without End) are probably two of the best books I've read so far. I mean, no tea, no shade to Philippa Gregory's The Cousins' War series (YES! I'VE READ THEM ALL and I HAVE ALL OF HER BOOKS ABOUT THE THAT AND THE TUDORS AS WELL! ~fangirling!) but it's light hearted and the emotions I've felt are fleeting. Follett's writing on those two books is really something because I can't still get over with the characters in there. The death of Tom Builder in the first book shook me more than when I first read about the death of Eddard Stark (that broke me but damn, Tom's death was really beautifully and hauntingly written) also, the best plotline, imo, is that of Gwenda and Wulfric in the second book. I mean, how can Follett write something about suffering and unrequited love (for a time of course, spoiler!) in such an irresistible way? I felt I was there, mourning and laughing with them all throughout. Gosh, I got carried away. I'm sorry, I just read a lot of books but these ones really are for keeps. I highly recommend them.
AAAAAAAAAND that's what I want. I want this to tag me along as well to the journey of the characters, feel how they feel, be moved by anything that moves them, love what they love and hate what they despise. I want to feel all sort of emotions in this book. I want to read about death and feel it, something to that extent.
For the plot, as I was saying because I got lost in the tangents, it will slowly start with the current state of the Kingdom and giving the back stories and the reasons behind its downfall. I would like to present the narratives and primary motivations of the characters and the reasons for their choices that lead to what is currently happening in their lives.
Opening: Current state of the Kingdom of Adustio; on the verge of civil war, malcontent from the subjects, ruled by a weak, young and inexperience king. Age-old families trying to preserve the kingdom but one by one succumbing to the troubles of the kingdom.
Chapter 1
For now, this is all I can think about. I'll add more into this until it's finally shaping up to the plot that I would really like. Would also do some rough draft of the start?? (and maybe even Chapter 1).
Okay.
I am really thinking about writing something. Bit by bit at least. I feel like my mind is going numb.
You know that feeling when you think you're being stupid? That's how I feel everyday. Is this depression? Ahaha. Anyway.
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This is going to be like a bin of ideas for what I want to write. Just putting this up in here:
Okay.
Lately I've been feeling a whole lot of tired with everything that has been going on around me. I am indeed the personification of being a zombie.
It's the same routine every single day: I wake up at 6am, spend two hours talking to my boyfriend (wish I can have more), attend mindless and sometimes useless meeting from 8 to 9 am (sometimes up until 9:30-10:00), suffer micromanagement throughout the day and end the work day with a lot of anger and resentment. Sometimes, I just know that I am angry even when I feel numb. It's really hard to explain but my work life is really affecting me heavily.
I don't even have the energy anymore to do anything aside from the things that I should do and useless filler activities. Working, watching YouTubes, eating, lying down, thinking, talking to a limited number of people and sleeping, that's all I do lately. I miss my productive self but I just can't lift myself up. I really don't have the energy for anything else. Even exercising is hard right now when I found joy doing it back then.
Just writing this down to let off steam or whatever. What is life? Haha.
Yes.
You've read it correctly: SHE STRIKED AGAIN.
This bitch is driving everyone crazy around her. We are all at wit's end with her extreme arrogance, selfishness and self-entitlement. I wonder where she's getting the audacity but I feel like there's more from where that's coming from.
The bitch is testing me, my friends and the whole operations group. I wonder how and why she sees herself as the savior of the Ops when she's basically, well, clueless on how it works. I'm not trying to be mean or anything but this girl works as a secretary all her life, no other experience or whatsoever (except probably for being extremely flirtatious), and now she's saying that she can see a lot of mistakes and that she can solve it all. THE AUDACITY OF THIS BITCH.
Anyway. I just don't know how tor react or what to expect from her performance. She's replacing one of the Project Leads (one of the best) as a whim of the VP (I don't even wanna know why and why he thinks this is a good idea). As a group, we decided that we're gonna give her a chance to prove herself even if we know how toxic she is already. I hope we're not making a really big mistake in here.
She's really one of the worst people that I know of in all my life. Adultery aside (yes, she's probably hooking up with one of the managers who's married already--you can email me and I will expound this), she's really a despicable, disrespectful and just plain horrible person. She's probably good looking if you don't know her but once you get to know her, ugh.
She's part of the Dream Team that annoys the hell of us. More of that later.
Bye.
Okay.
It's only February 16th, day 47 of the year. I would still be able to work on something on the creative side. I mean, yes, I'm also doing some crocheting, practicing before working on the scarf that I would give my boyfriend for his birthday this December for winter but I want something challenging, you know?
So I'm gonna start writing a noble. I already have something in mind and the characters are based on people that I know in real life. It would be easy to guess who's who if you know me but at the same time, I also feel like it would be challenging.
I would start with the characters later tonight.
As for the reviewers, I'm still sorting out my geology books and I just want to give everything away, FOR REAL.
I don't want them anymore. HAHA.
Okay.
I promised before that I would write everyday. For quite some time I've been good but as you know, life happened. I got sick for quite some time, work was overbearing (and so did everyone in there) and I just had no motivation or whatsoever to get up and be productive.
I don't want to diagnose myself with depression or something but maybe this is it. I may be not the most positive person there is but I at least can turn around my feelings when I think about all of the good stuff but this time, I feel like everything is just caving in. It's really harder and harder to be a zombie each day.
Anyway... I don't really want to rant in here. I have no energy for that. I just want to say quite a few things: