[Stoic Meditation] The Cards We Are Dealt With

 “Think of the life you have lived until now as over and, as a dead man, see what’s left as a bonus and live it according to Nature. Love the hand that fate deals you and play it as your own, for what could be more fitting?”

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 7.56-57

I am of the opinion that if you’re reading this blog post, you are already familiar with the latin phrase, “Amor fati”. It can be translated as “love of fate” or “lover of one’s fate.” This is the practice of accepting everything that fate bestows us. No matter what it is, you bear it with joy and resolution. 

Unfortunately, this is a difficult thing to do. Who in their right mind would be joyful when one of their loved ones is taken from them all of a sudden? Who would say that it’s for the best when they lose their job in this economy? Who would just shrug after a difficult break up and then continue with their lives as if nothing happens? We, as emotional beings, tend to flail and struggle in the face of difficult circumstances. We try to make sense of things, grasp and hold on to whatever logical explanation that we can think of. Without this, we always imagine ourselves falling into the deep pits of despair. We look back and regret, imagining scenarios wherein we could have done better or wherein we could have tried harder. But the time for these things has already passed. You are instead wasting your precious “now”.

It has been quite freeing for me to think this way. It saves me from deep-seated grief and anger. I’ve realized long ago that there’s no point in looking back, feeling the pangs of regret and contemplating dismay. It is what it is and as the world moves on, you should as well. Things happen for the best, as it always has been since time immemorial. Everything settles, just like everything else in the universe. I know all of these sound cliché but it’s just the truth. Everything gets better and the only thing that you should handle is your cacophony of emotions. Management of expectations and point of view will come naturally afterwards.

We often think that surrendering to what life throws at us is weakness. We romanticize the act of struggling for things that we can’t change. But acceptance is probably one of the strongest manifestations of strength and if you add a smile to that and an honest, “What the heck, it is better this way,” then you’re already a champ in life. Of course, it takes practice to do this. Our hearts are easily led, that’s why we have to keep our heads strong. We need to affirm ourselves daily because otherwise, we are just gonna be like wayward children.

PS. Had difficulty writing this. Even walking for an hour around my neighborhood didn't help that much.