[Journal] Joy In Suffering

As I delve more in more to the philosophical idea of “Amor fati” by Nietzsche, the glaring similitude of this statement to my all-time favorite bible verse of Romans 5:3-5 is blinding. As it stated:

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Romans 5:3-5

I don’t write much about my faith or religion here because, well, it’s not the space for it. If I am going to be honest with you, I don’t subscribe to any religion at all even though I believe that there is something greater out there in the universe. For years, I’ve been questioning whether I believe in this higher form just to explain things that I can’t fathom. Our mere existence alone and the beauty and pain around us grind the gears in my head on a daily basis.

Everything that we don’t know is scary. Even the things that we do know are scary as well. Nothing is guaranteed despite our best efforts and through this, acceptance is one of the key virtues that one must have in order to conquer ourselves and the world. Acceptance is embracing things–whether it be people or circumstances, as it is. We open ourselves to what came and what is here and what has to come rather than wishing for something else. This in itself is already difficult but imagine taking it to the next level: doing so with joy and love. 

It is such a great undertaking to accept life’s painful circumstances with a smile on your face and an open and joyful heart. Truly, it’s a grueling and demanding feat of mental gymnastics. There are many things in my life that, even though I have come to terms with, still gives me a tightness in my chest. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, whether I am running or just casually preparing a meal, these thoughtful reminders of what I’ve lost and suffered from come. And of course, it hurts. My only consolation during such a situation is that as instantaneous as these thoughts come, they instantly go as well. That in itself is beautiful as from hereon, you can regulate the emotion that it has left you feeling and joyfully encapsulate the wisdom and/or perspective you got from it.

And what do we get from accepting our sufferings? Dostoevsky in his novel, The Brothers Karamazov, wrote, “It’s the greatest mystery of human life that old grief passes gradually into quiet tender joy.” This was so profound to me that I immediately stopped what I was doing and pondered on it. When it comes to pain, most of us would rather not face it but just lazily ignore it. We would rather entertain ourselves to forget the pangs of pain and turn away from our own despair. We would get drunk and take substances that promise immediate relief and forgetfulness only to be surprised the following day that it’s still there, made worse by headaches and hangovers. But suffering, more often than not, is a gateway to the growth and development of the human spirit. It gives us the strength to carry on with our lives no matter how dire it looks. Through fire, we are tested. All of our impurities will be removed. (This is a fun thought for me as a geologist because it’s also true in nature. Imagine all the processes the minerals have to go through in order to obtain their purest form). And realizing what you’ve gone through made you a better and stronger person impacts our lives in a different way.

The painstaking process of acceptance is made sweeter by having joy. If Nietzsche, the guy who said, “God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him.”, was in a way agreeing to a certain bible verse, I think we all know what’s up. Painful life circumstances are hard enough but trying to go through these with lamentations, doubts and incessant whining will not take you anywhere. It will just burden you even more. What we can do, just like what the bible verse above stated, is to realize what great depths these sufferings contribute to our characters. Through this, we now know that we are enduring, resilient and strong people. Aren’t these enough reasons to be joyful about? 

Stoicism, alongside other great philosophical ideas (and bible verses if you believe), armors us through the hardships in life with utter curiosity and joyful acceptance. As I always say, you are of course allowed to feel but it is at your discretion to handle your emotions with strength and dignity. I hope today you’ll realize how your pain and suffering make you a better person all in all.