[Stoic Meditation] What We Should Know by the End

 “Soon you will die, and still you aren’t sincere, undisturbed, or free from suspicion that external things can harm you, nor are you gracious to all, knowing that wisdom and acting justly are one and the same.”

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 4.37

Death is on my mind constantly. Not because I have a morbid curiosity over it but I understand that “later” is not as good as promised to us. I am trying to live my life sincerely and just pursuing things or activities that I think would give me the greatest satisfaction.

Just a short interjection, I’ve been claiming myself to be a hedonist but I am not bound by how defined pleasure and pain is. Seeking and enjoying pleasurable things are of course beneficial for my mental wellbeing and makes me happy but I also understand how painful life experiences can bring me to a new height of understanding and enlightenment. This is where Stoicism and all other philosophical concepts I am subscribing to come in. I try to tie everything up in a nice little bow in order for me to achieve my mental homeostasis. No one should be in all time high or low anyway. More often than not, being flat is preferred since it gives us a clear mind to understand things around us. (Also, I feel like with philosophy, sticking to just one and living it is a bit–well, “religiousy”. I know the latter is not a word but that’s the only way I can put it. It’s like faith but not and this is what I understand from Albert Camus’ concept of philosophical suicide.)

I was just listening about the Dark Philosophy of Arthur Schopenhauer by Eternalised on YouTube before writing this and even this depressing Philosopher knew that most of our sufferings come from our beliefs and assumptions over situations. We are the ones who prolonged the agony when in reality, pain, either physical or mental, doesn’t really last a long time. It’s a momentary feeling that comes and goes. I wouldn’t want to go around my day thinking about all the insults and heartbreaks I’ve experienced when I don’t even know if I will wake up tomorrow. So why do we do this to ourselves?

As for sincerity, I am often confused as to why people go around living without practicing this. If you like to watch American sitcoms and films, most of the problems that the characters encounter stem from the fact that they often lie, pretend and deceive people. I mean, sure, it is good TV, but c’mon now, both of us know that we also do this in real life in order to save face or our feelings. After reading today’s meditation, I also picked up my phone and tried to sort out plans and conversations with some people in my life. I’m not gonna go into details but sometimes, I also hold back when I feel jaded. 

So, I hope that today you’ll live life freer and fuller since tomorrow is not promised.