[Ramblings] An Attempt on Emotional Writing

You are like a sunny day during winter.

I welcome your presence because it's quite pleasant but you also melt the snow and ice around me.

And I think I am really scared.

I’ve never expected this especially now that I’ve grown confident in my isolation and freedom.

I don’t think I need someone to share my joy and pain with. I know I can manage.

I love my company and I enjoy things at my own pace.

But the thing is, I think I kinda want you in my life lately.

I don’t think you’re the perfect addition to my routines but I want you there just the same.

I am getting comfortable with your smile and presence.

I find myself daydreaming more and more about a life with you.

I dare not indulge myself that long though,

but I do give in from time to time.

I always say that I’ve grown passive with this emotion.

I mean, it’s kinda true still, I guess.

I have no desire to take actions or whatsoever,

but it’s there. I like the joy that this emotion gives me.

It feels like a betrayal to myself sometimes, but a happy one at that.

If only this is torrential, I can logically dismiss it.

But it’s not. I hate how this is quite still.

It’s growing on its own, following the season of my life.

How I hate that I am both excited and terrified!

To see how the bloom would look like for us comes Spring.

I can feel like I want to run away from all of this.

Would it be such a shameful and cowardly thing to do?

I still feel like I have no business feeling this.

I was just navigating my life but there you were.

I am so annoyed with you as a great outlier.

PS. This is me after reading poems for two days. Lol.

I am so lame.