Relentless

It's one of those nights.

I don't know if I am bored or sleepy but then again, I've slept for almost 11 hours today. With a body pain, the red friend who visits monthly and a disturbing hunger that I don't know how to satisfy, I couldn't calm myself down for the life of me.

I'm not even remotely ballistic or anxious, if anything, I am feeling 'meh' and I don't know what to do with myself. I shouldn't be lost in my thoughts either because that can be disastrous which can lead to a path of some serious overthinking. Is this just hormones or am I going crazy?

Tried reading today. Finished the book that I casually picked up while I was looking for the second installment of Ken Follett's Century Trilogy. It was a parody of the Fifty Shades of Gray called Fifty Shames of Earl Gray or something. It was a stupid book. Made me chuckle unexpectedly though so I think it's kinda a win when you really think about it. That activity did not really raised my spirit at all much like casually checking all my social media platforms. I hate doing the latter because it makes me feel like I'm a zombie that has no life.

Mentally, I feel like I am a little bit unwell. Not that there's something seriously wrong with me, I suppose. Maybe I am also just bummed out that I can't do some serious biking (which I will tell you more later) today because the flow is so heavy and its making me feel so lazy.

Anyway. Really not in the mood for anything.

It's one of those days in which I am seriously thinking how it is better to be dead than anything else.