BIKING!!!!!

I started biking. Yey!

I have been deeply influenced and encouraged by a good friend (met on Reddit and now hanging out every few days or so) to do some biking last July. This toxic (lels) friendship started when we decided to casually meet one day to have a little work out sesh (I run every night in Mandaluyong Circle if it's not raining) instead of giving in to our unhealthy obsession with unlimited Korean bbq. He took his bike with him that night and he ran with raspy breathing. Weirded the shit out of me because he bikes and yet he has no stamina for running. ANYWAY, not really important. Haha.

I know how to bike because I've been doing so since I was like 4 or something. I think I even lost my "virginity", and by virginity, I mean my intact hymen, due to biking. TMI, I supposed, but there was blood and I was sore for days. That was when I used a mountain bike with a really high saddle for my nimble and tiny body. Haha. There's a lot of unnecessary tangents in here but yeah, I do know how to bike.

He "budol" me on the weekend after my birthday telling me that we should go out biking and take out some Hongkong deli. His treat, he said. As I am one who never say no to free food, of course, I went with him. He lend me his MTB, a Giant bike of 2019, and away we rode. I was really nervous to do some biking on the main roads due to some childhood trauma (almost got hit by a motorcycle while idiotically crossing the road because I just steered without looking). Got home safely anyway and have some feast afterwards. That's the start. It has been two months since and I have already did an 80+~ kilometer ride from Manila to Wawa, Rizal. It was insane. I have never been out this much in my life.

I now got a bike of my own. It's a cheap but reliable locally-made bike that's probably too big for me. It's a 29er but luckily, my long legs got me. Still practicing on riding with a high saddle since I am still a scaredy cat, if I am being honest. I still wish to use my foot to wait on traffic lights but a low saddle height isn't really advisable for long rides. I need to learn to be brave. 

Currently, I am now believing in my friend's statement, "Walking is so overrated". I now take my bike everywhere I go. Even when I am just buying something nearby, lol.

Relentless

It's one of those nights.

I don't know if I am bored or sleepy but then again, I've slept for almost 11 hours today. With a body pain, the red friend who visits monthly and a disturbing hunger that I don't know how to satisfy, I couldn't calm myself down for the life of me.

I'm not even remotely ballistic or anxious, if anything, I am feeling 'meh' and I don't know what to do with myself. I shouldn't be lost in my thoughts either because that can be disastrous which can lead to a path of some serious overthinking. Is this just hormones or am I going crazy?

Tried reading today. Finished the book that I casually picked up while I was looking for the second installment of Ken Follett's Century Trilogy. It was a parody of the Fifty Shades of Gray called Fifty Shames of Earl Gray or something. It was a stupid book. Made me chuckle unexpectedly though so I think it's kinda a win when you really think about it. That activity did not really raised my spirit at all much like casually checking all my social media platforms. I hate doing the latter because it makes me feel like I'm a zombie that has no life.

Mentally, I feel like I am a little bit unwell. Not that there's something seriously wrong with me, I suppose. Maybe I am also just bummed out that I can't do some serious biking (which I will tell you more later) today because the flow is so heavy and its making me feel so lazy.

Anyway. Really not in the mood for anything.

It's one of those days in which I am seriously thinking how it is better to be dead than anything else.

What's New

It's been quite awhile since the last time that I wrote in here.

Honestly, I was doing really fine. Getting out a lot more and not thinking too much about life. Work still sucks a little bit due to some people from the management that makes my heart sick (they don't know what they're doing and they shout and talk really fast which confuses me) but all in all, life is great.

I also cancelled my appeal to the Danish Immigration Board and that really pulled a huge thorn on myself. It was not meant to be and that's the reason why it did not worked out.

I don't know what the future holds for me but I am feeling a whole lot better about life. It's not as bleak as before and I am a whole lot hopeful about it. Meeting new people, picking up a new hobby and going out and doing lots of physical exercise really made a difference to me.

Just counting the days till 2022 and hoping for a better future for me.
Still a little bit confused with what I want to do with my life but at least, I am hopeful. Life is more exciting now, ngl.