[Ramblings & Literary Art] When There's Only Emptiness

This is my fourth attempt to write today. My thoughts are rather scattered and there was a great need to just be still and quiet.

I have never spoken in earnest to another human being. I felt like I was trying to hide myself away, raising up the walls and barricading the opened windows or whatever else is left open. I rode buses aimlessly, stopped and stared at trees and pushed myself to at least do a short hike to keep fit. Other than that, nothing. For some reason, I feel empty. Neither sad nor happy, just empty.

Trees I've stared at

I imagined Ulriken doing the peace sign while I took this photo

One of my fav views here in Bergen

I want but izz szo expenszzziv

Just something that I bought because izs cute

I may just be tired. Hopefully, that’s just what it is. I am trying to listen to my body but it only echoes this gnawing feeling of ‘nothing’ and emptiness. I am trying to get to the bottom of it but again, for some reason, I am left with just nothing. Maybe it was because of a series of events this past weekend. Maybe I got super drained and there’s just nothing left to feel for now. I am still positive that I will bounce back but as to how and when, I still do not know.

Anyway, here is an unfinished poem for now. I was supposed to present this on a poetry night thing here in Bergen but I wasn’t able to finish it and I have no energy to actually go there tomorrow. This is somewhat inspired because I was listening to Desiderata by Ehrman when this first materialized into something. Hopefully, I would be able to finish this. Damn, I just realize that this blog is full of 'hope' with all the 'hopefullys' in here.

 So, here it is:

In dread, I refuse to just make a move;

In adversity, I know I have something to prove;

In fear, I duly refuse to surrender;

In challenges, I know I have time to ponder

Life is never really what it seems to be,

It is neither white nor black, for gray it could also be;

To take life just as it is would be the ultimate goal,

A balm for the restless mind and a tired soul

To be in an eternal clash between what is and what could be,

Is one of the gripping dilemma of humanity;

To not be able to accept what fate has brought to you,

Is one of the reason for one’s soul to be completely subdued