The most difficult thing to admit to one’s self is this: we, ourselves, are the ultimate cause of our own unhappiness. Once realized, a sense of profound enlightenment would wash over you and a lot of things can be viewed and handled by you in a different light.
It’s never the people nor the situation around us. We might think that this is the case but it never truly is. Never was, never will be. Despite this, I agree that we are all victims. We are the victims of our own imaginations, aspirations, expectations, assumptions, (all the other -tions you can think of), guilt, doubts, and desires among other things. We put ourselves through different levels of exhaustive and mind-numbing states of fear, desperation and anxieties that stem from our perception of everything around us. We might argue that a lot of things outside of our immediate self can and may affect us but we seem to be forgetting that our consciousness is probably the quintessential example of a ‘closed system’. (Disclaimer: Less comparable to how it works in nature, more comparable to how it works in Chemistry and other sciences where transfer of energy is allowed. That kind of vibe.) Everything around us has been there since time immemorial so the only thing that we can control is how we deal with it and how we grow from it.
People often question reality because there’s some truth in that premise that we all perceive it differently. Reality is subjective and almost never objective. And when you actually think about it, we can even argue that concepts such as that of morality and values have varying connotations depending on who were asked and where they stem from. Hell, even sovereign laws and dogmas held for centuries are being challenged in the daily. Everything can be subjected to interpretations as most lawyers would inform us thusly. So with all these in mind, who are we to dismiss the fact that the power to make ourselves joyful and in full possession of our lives is truly within us? That, despite everything around us, despite what other people tell you, we are our own peace and quiet? It is quite empowering to know that no matter what happens, we are in control.
Of course, I never claim that this would be an easy feat. From time to time, I ‘backslide’ like how our Christian believers would say. Remnants of old and harmful habits rear their ugly heads and since we’re talking about habits, more often than not, these are heavily ingrained in our routines and decision-making. It will definitely take some time before it will truly dissipate. It will take some practice to always choose to be joyful and to wriggle off the victim mentality. We also need to consider that we are emotional beings that are often ruled by a palpably fickle heart. Just like the waves, we can be torrential, seemingly impulsive and catastrophic. Peace and calm are most definitely desired but somehow almost always never the choice. We are so used to the chaos within us that rewiring will take some guts, an intense self-control and a resilient will.
But we don’t have to worry about this. Again, we are in control. We have the power to choose and ACCEPT things as they are and move on from it. As long as we are breathing and living, we have the ability to practice and do some trial and error. ACCEPT mistakes, pains and suffering. ACCEPT that we are growing and blooming as we tread the path of life. We are capable beings with beautiful minds. We were never designed to be victims, rather we are fighters. I would like to relate the former to this quote from Camus’ Lyrical and Critical Essays, 1970,
“Accepting the absurdity of everything around us is one step, a necessary experience: it should not become a dead end. It arouses a revolt that can become fruitful.”
The ‘revolt’ to not being victims leads to joy and fulfillment and bettering ourselves.
So starting from now, if you haven’t been doing it yet, you should carry yourself with dignity and pride. Victimhood doesn’t suit you. How can a powerful being stoops down to that level and decides to be unhappy?
