I haven't been here for a while and there's a good reason for that.
For the first time ever in my life, I feel happy and contented. As if everything is falling into place. I still have some worries, of course, but I find them trivial unlike before. I am living, truly living, for the first time ever.
There is really a huge difference to one's state of mind if you have some kind of "hope". It can be the hope for a generally optimistic stance about the future, hope for the things that will be or just a simple hope that you'll be fine for tomorrow. As for me, I am hopeful for what I am becoming. I saw [and continuously seeing, as a matter of fact], how strong I truly am. I never thought I have it in me to leave everything behind and start a new life thousands of kilometers away from home. I never thought that I would leave my crappy job, that I will leave my comfort zone, that my perseverance will take me places and that loving myself is the beginning of a great realization. Even when as I was boarding the plane to Sweden, I've always thought that my love for my boyfriend is the only reason I was doing it. It took me a couple of sleepless nights to tell myself that I ultimately did it for me.
Foolish me believes that I can move mountains for someone I love. It is a great sentiment of mine. My fault in this though lies on the fact that I always attributed "someone" to a different person other than myself. I can see myself: flaws and all. Everything became easier and filled with patient once I started to love myself.
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