[Life Update] First Test: Done!

[Rambling ahead]

I feel like I've crammed events in my life these past few months. Also felt a little bit depressed and cynical after the election. 

Time seems so relevant to me these days. I have never counted nor put a lot of importance on a single minute lost back then, as far as I can remember, but now, I am obsessed over one single minute I "waste". Time, at least in my opinion, is somewhat comparable to the Fountain of Youth. Every drop is important; should be cherished. It feels weakening to know when I "spill" some drippings from this seasonal fountain.

I have been studying German for quite some time now. Not really that seriously at first, just trying to familiarize myself with the language, you know? Getting the feel of it, as others would say. It was an okay language in my opinion. I love how harsh and graceful it seems when you speak and listen to it. Quite comparable to the beauty and terrors of Winter.

So since May, I've been preparing intensely for the A1 exam in Deutsch. Studying for 2-3 hours each day seems to be not enough especially when Swedish is also confusing me since that's what I hear 24/7. But I have to do it. It became clear last April when I visited Germany that it is necessary for me to have it. Not to mention the pressure that my boyfriend is putting on me to have the language certificate ASAP since we're targeting B1 this year as well.

Aaaah! What a life it must be if I am not as poor as I am. Although I love the challenges that life gives me because it makes me stronger, I sometimes feel this overwhelming fear, stress and fatigue. Sometimes you just want it to be easy for once BUT then again, more often than not, you are not offered with such luxuries. I, just like most of us, have to work really hard to get what we think we deserve in life.

I took the A1 exam last Thursday, 09.06. Honestly, I feel unprepared, tired and nervous. I've been working 10-12 hours a day since Tuesday, sometimes even 14 hours and I feel like I need to catch a break or something (I didn't get a break this weekend too, by the way). Aside from that, I am starting to feel really sick since I've been nursing a sick and cranky child (honestly! how do we even decide to have offsprings!?). 

And so, I took the exam. It started at 10 and ended just about a minute or two after 12. Honestly, it's kinda easy. Listening is a bit confusing but I know way better than to get confused. Reading and Writing; okay, I guess. STILL scared about the probable results of my Schrieben but very confident with my Lesen. SPRECHEN though... I was so suprised about the other takers.

We were a group of four and I was the only female in that set. I have to say that all three guys are kinda unprepared but so confident to take the exam. I dare say that only one of them actually has the grasp of the language when it comes to speaking. My partner, who is way older than us, was unfortunately ill-equipped. I have to ask several time, "Wie bitte?" because I really don't get what he's trying to say.

Amazingly though, I think I was the only one who made the examiners smile. That's how bad it was. Anyway, still waiting for the result but I think I got it. Maybe not 100% in everything but definitely gonna pass that.

Byeeei. Have to sleep now.